This past weekend my niece, Emma, who is 3 months old, rolled over from her belly to her back for the first time. Everyone was ecstatic and cheering, one of the baby milestones had been met and the whole family was there to witness it! Woo!
Well, my own big doofus puppy, Remus, turned 1 year on June 17, and my fully male 120+ lb dog had yet to lift a leg to pee, preferring to squat lady like to do his tinkle. It was getting embarrassing. Especailly since his dangling cahones were kinda hard to miss. Today it was overcast and not 90 degrees outside, so I figured I’d take Remus to the dog park. Only one other large dog was there, a beautiful black and tan lady mutt about the size of a black lab with a thick fluffy coat that had also been shaved for the summer heat. This lady was also around a year old, however she was fixed. Remus didn’t seem to register the difference.
He arched his neck, carried his tail higher than I’ve ever seen him, and alternated between prancing stiff legged in front of her and trying to shove his nose up her butt. Literally, he followed her around with his nose firmly connected to her nether regions. My dog was experiencing his first puppy love. I don’t know if it was the flood of testosterone or just the desire to impress his lady, but for the first time since we’ve had Remus he decided he wanted to mark. So he popped his customary squat and gave a little squirt. He must’ve realized his doggie faux pas pretty quickly because with a whine of consternation, he realized his lady friend had walked off without noticing his manly marking. So he ran after her, pranced, sniffed her tush, pranced some more, attempted to hump her (which was immediately discouraged) and then pranced over to a tree and lo and behold….he lifted his leg to pee! For one teensy tinsy split tenth of a second I was proud of my overgrown fuzz face….and then he tripped and fell on his nose. My dog can’t balance on three legs and pee at the same time, it takes too much concentration.
I suppose the lady found Remus’s clumsyness somehow cute and endearing, because while she discouraged his attempts to hump her (which were pretty half hearted after the first attempt becuase he knew he wasn’t supposed to) she happily licked his nose and ran around the park with him. I guess she was saying she “just wants to be friends.” Poor Remus. She left the park first and when I led him to the car he dragged behind me, head down, feet plodding. So many milestones: Lifting a leg to pee, finding first love, experiencing his first heartbreak. C’est la vie…