Wrath, pride, lust, envy, sloth, greed, and gluttony. I always forget at least one when I try to list them, usually envy or greed, two sins I don’t seem to struggle with as much. Or maybe thats just pride speaking. I was working on the puzzle the other day and randomly started contemplating the sins and wondering of which one I was the worst offender. I believe people are more predisposed towards some sins over others-due to nature or nurture or really a combination of both- and although I’ve participated in all of the sins at some point or the other, I wanted to see if I could narrow it down to the one I engaged in the most.
Believe me, I’m not proud of being a sinner, but narrowing down where I was most susceptible to temptation seemed like a good idea…or is that pride speaking? I definitely struggle with pride, it makes the top three without a doubt. I’m not a very confident person, but I loathe being wrong. My motivation for doing the right thing is often a function of me detesting apologies. Definitely not always the right motive, and God looks on the heart, eek.
Wrath is also in the top three. I have a temper that is irrational and explosive. Its like I have a perpetual pot of simmering anger on the backburner, and if I’m in a bad mood anything can trigger it. I hold grudges, I have a hard time letting go even after a matter has been “resolved.” My temper has improved outwardly with much prayer, introspection, and leaving the room before I say anything stupid, but I still find myself brooding over situations that make me angry and lashing out in complete overreactions at times. Yes, anger makes the top three.
Greed and envy, like I said earlier, I’ve never really had much of a problem with. Oh yes, I’ve been greedy and envious before, but like a headcold compared to the chronic bronchitis of anger and pride.
Lust, eh, I don’t really know. I’ve had my moments I suppose, but I never could develop crushes on movie stars or play out fantasies in my head. Maybe its the medical profession but naked bodies are naked bodies, I guess it just doesnt bother me.
Gluttony? I dont think so. I mean, I like food and all, and luxuries, but they aren’t really that important. I mean yes, I have to eat, but the only foods I really gorge myself on are beef stroganoff and mac and cheese. And I can live without luxuries and be happy no problem.
That leaves sloth. Oh sloth. To me this is probably the most embarrasing sin to admit to. I mean, anger and pride-youre almost expected to admit to those, and who doesn’t get jealous on occasion or want more money? Lust, in today’s culture, is expected. And in the christian world it’s almost drilled into you the moment you start going to youth group. Gluttony? Come on, I feel left out because I can’t join weight watchers with the rest of America. But sloth? Go to the ant though sluggard! Lazyness is despised in every culture I’ve ever heard of, being a hard worker is important. Even people renowned for “chill”ness- like chronic potheads- can point out the laziest member of their group with just a touch of disdain. And this, if I’m honest with myself, is my worst deadly sin. I can laze a day, a week, a month away without a problem. I hold my bladder for hours because I dont want the hassle of going to the bathroom, I procrastinate everything, I make excuses in my head for why I shouldn’t/don’t have to do certain things-at least not right then, on my days off I usually dont even bother getting dressed. I can sleep 8-10hours without a problem, then get up and nap on the couch. I LOVE sleep. Snuggling up under the covers, burrowing into my pillows, savoring the lovely feeling of doing nothing…yes, sloth is definitely a problem. I need encouragement or admonishment to get anything accomplished. Good thing I married an organized, internally motivated man or I’d still be contemplating filling out job applications instead of going to school to be a paramedic and working as such for almost two years. If it weren’t for pride and the constant accountability of family and friends, Id be as slothful as a, well, sloth.
So, thank you family and friends, for keeping me from turning into a three toed hairy moster with algea growing on me. I work on combating my lazyness-some days are better than others- but it is a tough battle and impossible without knowing that if I sat around and did nothing it would eventually expose my utter slothfullness to the world and my pride can’t take that.