He Won’t be in Diapers Forever…

Standard

…are ya suuure? Like, super positive? 100% without a doubt?

…more importantly, is that a challenge?

As Cade’s second birthday approaches, potty training looms closer and closer. And you know what? I’m not doing it. No, seriously, if he wants to be in diapers till he’s 18 that is fine with me (he’ll have to change them by himself, but he can wear them if he really wants to…)

Why, you ask? Now, this isn’t one of those hippy dippy organic free range crunchy granola things. Nor is it a “I don’t want him to ever grow up!” Nope. This is pure laziness. Here are my reasons for delaying potty training indefinitely:

1. I have 2 in diapers. Cloth diapers. So every two days I wash diapers. If Cade potty trains, I still wash Zane’s diapers every two days-it’s a smaller load, but it will always be every two days. BUT I also have to wash any clothing Cade has accidents in, wet sheets, couch cushion covers, car seat liners….ugh. The frequency of laundry gets GREATER with potty training, not less.

2. I would still be wiping his butt. A butt wipe is a butt wipe. Potty training will not help with this until Cade is older, so why potty train now?

3. It is so much more time consuming and time is NOT something I have right now. What am I supposed to do if I’m nursing Zane down for nap and Cade suddenly has to pee? …I’ll tell you, I’ll let him pee in his diaper, because he will still be wearing them.

4. What is the point? I mean, of potty training at 2 (I get why basic toilet functions are important). It doesn’t make him any smarter. It will never end up on a resume. It does nothing at this age but add stress to our lives and ain’t nobody got patience for that!

5. Diapers don’t bother me unduly. What I mean is, I know some moms for whom changing diapers evolves into a chore as enjoyable as thrusting hot needles under their fingernails. Day in, day out, the butts, the wipes, the pee, the ick…potty training for these moms is the glorious light at the end of the diaper tunnel, and they work HARD to get there. I say, go moms! You are AWESOME! …now I gotta go change Cade’s poopy, be right back.

6. This is a double whammy-from the gossip at the playground, boys are notorious for taking longer to potty train. Every mom I’ve talked to has said, “We started at 2, but he didn’t get the hang of it until he was 3. I wish we had waited longer.”  As well as, “Boys are so messy, the toilet gets gross so fast! I feel like I’m always scrubbing it.” Messages received and noted.

There are kids out there who see the potty and go, “Yep. Gonna get me some of that!” And if Cade were one of those kids that’d be great! But he isn’t. I put him on the potty for kicks and giggles every once in awhile. He watches me and Brian go daily. He knows what it is and what it’s for and the basics of how to work it (Sit. Flush.) He knows pee and poop and can kinda sorta sometimes indicate when he is doing one or the other. But formal potty training? Not happening in the forseeable year.

That’s right. YEAR. I know he has to be potty trained for preschool-but so far I plan on homeschooling, so…

Basically until Cade straight up starts initiating that he wants to use the toilet he will be in diapers. At least, not until he’s four, at four I may start getting pushy about it (because if I potty train him at 4, Zane will be 2.5 and may potty train with him…two birds, one potty!)

There you have it-my reasons for avoiding potty training.

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